[LAskooter213]

Fellas....Im sorry I have to do this. I really respect all you guys and I hate to be the one who has to come out and say it.
But it needs to be said.

You look like a real asshole when youre riding your scooter
A geek. A loser. Even a little bitch.
Weve all heard the joke "What does a moped and a fat bitch have in common? They are both fun to ride but you dont want your friends to know youre doing it."
And shit man......on the vehicular food chain we are down BELOW the fucking moped. Only the rollerblader, unicycle and segway hoverboard thing are below us. And that aint saying much.
Women dont dig guys on scooters.
Do you get women looking at you like this?

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Yup you probably do.

[LAskooter213]

Do men look at you like this?
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Now I dont care what other people think of me. I really don't. If someone aint feeling me they can go fuck themself. I love riding my scooter and I aint gonna stop just because I look like an idiot doing it. But lets be real here. We are all human. We want to fit in. We want to be respected. We want to be admired and loved. Its part of the human condition and we all have a desire for acceptance. Its just nice. And since most of yall are probably male between the ages of 16-28 years old you also probably want pussy, all the time.
So how do we make ourselves look cool on a scooter? Is it possible? Can i ever successfully mad dog an enemy while riding on my scooter? Or get a girls phone number?
And what do I do when I am toolin along and there is another scooter rider going the opposite way as me and he gives me a head nod??? My God. AHHHHH YUCK. That shit is cringe-worthy. I feel so embarrassed and ashamed just thinking about it. Ehhhhhh. I need a shower. Fuck man, you think we got some kind of sacred brotherhood because we both ride souped up childrens toys around town? And its always some little bitch in a pastel colored polo shirt and tight shorts that does it. Yuck. ANYWAYS...What do we do if we eat shit and get banged up? What do we tell our friends and family? My father would laugh in my face. So would my mother for that matter. My friends would parody my accident while prancing around on their tip toes and speaking with a little gay man lisp or a childs voice. God, it would be the pits.
So lets explore what each of us does to combat this inherent stigma and what we do to alter that inherent awkward standing position with knees and elbows slightly bent.
Scooters may be like straws. No one can look cool while using one. But maybe not. Maybe if we put our heads together we can figure out how to get some respect out there and maybe even pull some hoodrat bitches or even semi respectable ho's. Its not impossible.
Ill post my techniques a little later. Ive got shit to do and the only thing dorkier than riding a scooter is spending all day on a forum talking about it. Haha.

[Freebird]

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(ATL saggy pance fashion for those wondering what's so interesting in the pic)

[LAskooter213]

Still think you look cool on your scooter?
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Think again. Just check out these idiots making fools of themselves:

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Fucking nerdy ass little twerp right here. Off the scooter he's probably just a typical computer IT guy,

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Look at these homos. They better hope theyre homos at least cuz aint no women fucking them tonite! Without the scooter theyre just semi homos.

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And check this shit out. Thats Hugh Jackman. Wolverine! Looking like that dad you dont want your friends to meet. That dad your mom was cheating on with the pool man. That dad that bought a fucking honda odyssey instead of a siverado.
And that motherfucker was WOLVERINE homies. Were you ever wolverine? Maybe for Halloween 10 years ago. Beeatch.

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And this pudgy sack of guts. He aint hittin skin WITHOUT the scooter. If he continues to ride that thing he may as well drive it off a bridge.

Now you gotta ask yourself...do i want to be one of these dudes? Or better lets ask someone whos ACTUALLY cool.....
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Well....do ya punk?